by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
