This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
