Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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