My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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