walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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