My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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