the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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