do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I just want to make out with him forever
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
