The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
he was CRYING into my vagina
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Randomize
