I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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