ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize