: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
