Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
