my vag is so smooth its legendary
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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