There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
