Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize