And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
