is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
