the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I checked into jail on foursquare
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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