That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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