ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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