Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize