My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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