she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
