just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The air was thick with penises
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
