Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
