the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
