Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
