She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
my god I love twenty year old dicks
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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