why didn't you poke me back
I faked an abortion last night.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
