im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
