i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize