Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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