i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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