she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
