nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
