so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
