She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I intend to get homeless drunk
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
