Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
