whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
