checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
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