If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
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