I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
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