making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
