just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
