I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
