you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
