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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
