oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
