Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
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