There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
