Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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