i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
