No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize