He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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