Quick, to the slutcave!
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
