How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
