Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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