it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
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