I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
