Sry I called you an 8
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
