And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Randomize
