I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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