party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Randomize
